Fresh Fruit

It really doesn't get any fresher than this...

Straight from the tree to...

My toddler's mouth.

Beautiful Butterflies

Earlier this summer I purchased a Live Butterfly Garden Kit from Insect Lore at livebutterflygarden.com.

For around $20.00 you get hours of entertainment and excitement. The kit came with ten caterpillars and a net container for the hatched butterflies.

The simplicity of it was that you really didn't have to do anything other than watch.

My son was a little too young to really understand what was going on but he totally enjoyed shaking, tapping, and poking at the caterpillars and their cocoons.

Each day we checked (or poked ) on our ever changing specimens to see the progress they had made.

I actually found myself calling and rushing home to get an updated butterfly report.

The end result was ten gorgeous butterflies that we eventually released.

Watching them fly away and the look on my son's face was priceless.

That Smell

Accompanied by my favorite little helper, I did a little delayed spring cleaning. As I cleaned and he played; an old, cheap bottle of cologne was discovered. It was a mesmerizing blue bottle with a bright shiny top. The downside was that it was filled with the biggest stink I had ever smelt. He refused to give it up so to secure the vile odor I closed the lid tightly and kept my fingers crossed that it would stay that way.

Eventually I forgot about the blue toxin and continued my chores. Papaw visited and helped us clean for a short while. His departure brought pure havoc. To diffuse the situation he took his side kick (and the cologne) home with him.

When I finished for the day I went to collect my offspring and found the two relaxing in the recliner engaged in serious cartoon mode. I also noticed a familiar blue bottle clutched tightly in my child's hand. Suddenly, the bottle hit the floor releasing the mind numbing scent.

I don't know what brought on this act of aggression but I do know that the aromatic effects will linger for a long time to come.

Blueberry Blues

Today my toddler and I awoke early in an attempt to beat the summer heat. Our objective was to pick as many blueberries as possible before the mid morning heatwave..

With buckets in hand we headed to the bushes. Luckily we were able to find some shade that kept us from totally melting.

My inquisitive child watched diligently as I picked the berries. I shared my harvest with him by alternating between his bucket and mine.

Eventually, he grabbed a few of the blueberries held them up and said "ball?" I explained that even though they were round they were not balls but blueberries (in toddler of course). Confused, he mashed a few and said "balloon?" I said, "no, blueberry." He preceded to taste, touch, smash, and throw the blueberries from his toddler sized bucket.

It wasn't long before he decided to help by picking a few himself. This would have been great if he were two to three feet taller. To appease him it was necessary to apply a little elevation. Therefore, project blueberry continued with an additional weight of around thirty pounds. Child in one hand and bucket in the other I persevered until I gathered enough for a small pie.

Totally exhausted, we dropped our goods off at Nana's with hopes of a home made pie and better luck tomorrow!

Mississippi Summers

There are two things you can count on (in the summer) when you live in south Mississippi. One is extreme heat and the other is watermelons. The heat I can do without but I gotta have my watermelons.

To some people any watermelon will do. In my neck of the woods, Smith County melons are legendary and the only ones that suit me. Sweet and juicy each melon comes with a big dose of southern hospitality.

Passing on a family tradition, my toddler and I made the short journey to purchase a few of these watermelons and a cantaloupe or two (which are just as good). When we arrived at our destination, we made our selections, chatted for awhile, and headed home. Once home, we indulged in a large slice of summertime bliss (outside of course).

Nothing compares to the almost crystallized stickiness of the juices combined with extreme humidity. With the sun beating down on my pink tented youngster adorned with watermelon seed freckles it was clear that today he would bathe outside.

With a filled wash tub, a bar of soap, and a water hose my baby was squeaky clean within a few minutes.

Cooling off in a big, galvanized tub of water was the perfect ending to an almost fairytale day.

Window Art

My toddler and I have the dreaded "SUMMER COLD." After a week inside and unbearable heat outside, it was essential to our health that we find something exciting to do.

Not in the mood to clean up a big mess or exert a lot of energy to entertain, I searched for an interesting activity to amuse and occupy.

Crayola Window Crayons was the answer. These crayons are made specifically for windows, glass, and mirrors. They are dry-erase and wipe off painlessly. The best part is that the caps cannot be removed by small children. So when I'm not in a supervising mood (to keep him from writing on everything else) I cap them with no worries.

Today, during the midday heat, he was able to express himself while enjoying a little sunlight (since our canvas was a window). In the process he learned two colors...blue and green!

This afternoon, we will wipe our canvas clean in preparation for the artistic creation that tomorrow will bring.

Monkey Cake

My son has been attending bible school this week. As a special treat my husband and I made a monkey cake to coordinate with the rain forest theme.

My cooking skills are less than perfect. I cook merely for survival not for recreation. My husband has an innate passion for preparing, decorating, and creating food. My passion ceases at eating. Therefore, he does most of the exciting cooking around our house. When we decided to do this cake I agreed to make the cake and the icing so that his only task would be to decorate (since he had to work and I am on summer break).

After several excruciating hours of Betty Crocker madness I emerged from a cloud of sweat and sugar with only a small bowl of icing. The cake never cooperated and persisted on sticking to the pan no matter what I did. So he ended up with the responsibility of the cake and spent most of the night and early morning decorating (gotta love em' for his dedication). The following evening he was to finish up the eyes, vines, and leaves. Unfortunately, he had to work late, which left me with the final details.

Cake decorating is not something I am good at, like, or know anything about but it had to be done (can't have a monkey without eyes). So I jumped in head first. Everything was going great until my table experienced an earthquake. FYI: Straight lines are virtually impossible with a wobbly table.

Not sure what was going on I investigated by looking beneath the table. There I found my toddler wedged under a chair and completely stuck. After my miraculous rescue I was able to finish the cake, get him dressed, and head to bible school with most of my sanity still intact.

The kids were very excited and my son loved the monkey cake. Regardless of the aggravation, lack of sleep, and hard work it is always worth it when your repaid with a smile. :)

Sweet Stickiness

Yesterday, I decided to be domestic and bake a cake. After the icing was done, I was getting ready to throw the beaters from the mixer into the sink. This action triggered a flashback of when I was a kid licking the pure goodness off of the twisted metal. There was nothing better than the combination of confectioner sugar and the smell of a freshly baked cake.

This trip down memory lane encouraged me to pass along this memory to my son. I gave him one of the icing covered beaters and he looked at me with a very confused look. Eventually, he took his first lick and it was then that he completely and totally lost his mind. He ran throughout the house as if his pants were on fire. While he ran, he yelled YUMM...EEEEE and grabbed everything in sight with his icing covered little paws.

It took a while to clean up but the entertainment and his happiness was so worth it!!!

Crazy Hat Night

Last night was "crazy hat" night at Vacation Bible School. With a rain forest theme I thought that a monkey hat would be both appropriate and cute. I found a pattern for a simple monkey hat on the net. The instructions were easy enough and the completion time was estimated at one hour. Of course, I didn't start the project until a few hours before it was needed and an hour turned into several. I did all of the cutting and attaching but I don't sew. For the final sewn details I called in reinforcements, Nana. Nana saved the day by adding some zig-zag stitching and a hem.

During assembly, my son watched adamantly saying over and over, "hat, hat, hat." Even though he wears a cap (like his daddy's and papaw's) regularly I worried that when the time came he wouldn't wear this one. While we were working diligently on this project I noticed that my child was gleefully wearing a small trash can. So I decided that if all else fails the trash can would make an appropriate substitute.

When we arrived at VBS, my son took his seat and readied himself for the entrance of Amigo, the Bible School monkey. Amigo is a puppet that makes an appearance every evening to get the kids motivated and to start the evening festivities. My son wore his monkey hat the entire time Amigo was present. It was so cute and so worth the time and effort it took to make it.

This is the finished product...to make your own go to http://ashbyfamilyblog.blogspot.com/2010/01/monkey-hat-tutorial-pattern.html for the pattern and instructions. I modified the original pattern by adding wiggly eyes, button nostrils, and a yarn pom-pom.

 

The Dish Ran Away with the Spoon

My toddler was helping me unload the dishwasher this morning. Flatware in hand he traipsed across the floor. So happy that he was helping (and not making a mess) I didn't focus my attention on where he was going with the silverware. When everything was put away I realized that there were no spoons or forks in sight. I asked him to show me where they were and got nothing. He totally refused to acknowledge my request. I searched everywhere with absolutely no luck.

This afternoon, during his nap, I took the opportunity to dabble on the computer. As I loaded paper in the printer (there is never any because he likes to pull it out, sling it across the room, and dance on it) I noticed something silver and shiny in the paper slot........it was the lost spoons and forks that I had been looking for ALL day!

The Top Ten Whys of Parenthood

1. Why playing with the box is more fun than playing with the toy that came in it.

2. Why public bowel movements are messier, more dramatic, and smell worse.

3. Why the phone always rings during nap time.
4. Why no one visits when the house is clean.
5. Why behaving in church is so difficult.
6. Why stores want to torture parents by surrounding the checkout lines with shelves of "gotta haves" and "can't do with outs."
7. Why inappropriate words and phrases are easier to learn and better understood.
8. Why a toolkit and thirty minutes of labor is necessary to remove a $5.00 toy from it's packaging.
9. Why flip flopped and bare feet are magnets for little feet with treaded shoes.
10. Why the toddlers turn into infants around grandparents.

Daddy's Day Out

Today we celebrated Father's Day by sharing a wonderful dinner at a local restaurant. While eating, my husband engaged in a brief conversation with two young ladies that he knew. Suddenly, our son poked him in the side and in an almost growl said, "stop." Flattered I immediately went home and told my daddy that my beloved son scolded his daddy for talking to other women. My daddy chuckled and explained (shrinking my swollen head) that he wasn't discouraging his daddy's behavior on my behalf; he was just trying to eliminate the competition!

Here Kitty, Kitty!

I totally despise cats. When my son was born one magically appeared. He developed an attachment for it so out of the goodness of my heart I kept it. Keeping it, however, did not mean that I liked it or had to be nice to it.

A few weeks ago I noticed that my son's attitude toward this cat had changed. When he saw the cat he would kick it, call it stupid, and even throw stuff at it. I was glad that he no longer liked the cat but was also confused as to why he was treating it so harshly. During a conversation with my husband regarding this situation, he enlightened me as to the cause of our child's newfound behavior toward his pet. Evidentally, it was a case of "monkey see, monkey do" and apparently he was thankful that I did not share these same feline feelings for him.

Revival: Fifth and final night

Tonight we were blessed with several guests. Among these guests was an attractive thirteen-year-old girl that caught my child's eye. My little man immediately turned on the toddler charm and had her literally eating out of his hands.

To gain her attention and show his affection, he generously shared his slightly used food. He would run to the table, grab a snack, take a bite, and throw what was left in her plate. (I suppose slobbering on it first was his way of adding a little extra spice to the courtship.) He concluded his wooing with ice cubes which was extra special because he fished a select few from the cooler and ran them over before they melted.

Dreams of Silver and Green!

Regretfully, I missed revival last night because my precious baby had a virus. Fever and vomiting into the night was an unpleasant experience for all involved. I was in charge of toddler pampering and my husband served as cleanup crew. By morning, it seemed that our efforts had paid off and he was feeling much better.


Bright and early he awoke (with his eyes still closed) repeatedly muttering the word “tractor.” A few seconds later his sparkling blue eyes appeared and he gleamed at me with the most sincere look I had ever seen. With this look came the phrase, “Ma, money!” I knew that his night had been filled with tractor rides and piles of quarters, his two favorite things. I did ponder as to what life would be like when he figured out that with money comes more tractors!

Many children have a comfort item (a toy or blanket) that makes them feel safe in times of illness or distress. For my son comfort comes with a tractor ride and the clanging of quarters. The tractors have to be GREEN and the quarters shiny. He is rather picky when it comes to quality!

Revival: Night #3

NO AIR CONDITIONER, AGAIN! A hot baby is not something I really want to deal with for an hour and a half. The only thing worse is two hot babies. My niece came with my parents and of course had to sit with me. All I can say is HOORAY for stickers and HOORAY for me for remembering to bring them!

Pooping in Public

My son has been constipated 90% of his life. However, a department store is a very functional laxative. Every shopping trip brings on a very productive poop. Today while shopping, as predicted, my son decided to do #2. It was a very dramatic bowel movement that affected all those present. First, he squatted down by the nearest clothes rack. Then, he grunted like a mad-man and turned red as a beet. (I thought he might actually pass out.) All of this was combined with a gurgling, bubbling, splattering sound and a smell that could peel paint. My shopping was almost done so we were able to check out and vacate the building before anyone actually became ill.

He definitely left his mark on our fellow shoppers and probably singed their nose hairs in the process.

Revival: Night #2

After church we generally hang around outside and let my energetic toddler blow off a little steam before going home. He played so hard that he literally ran out of his pants. Proud of his himself, he paraded around totally exposed with his white diaper gleaming in the moonlight. To avoid having his clothing repositioned he decided to seek refuge under an elderly lady's skirt.


Thank goodness no one was injured or violated during the fiasco.

Revival: Night #1

Tonight was our first night of revival. My husband was late getting home from work so I had to leave my son in a pile of toys on the bathroom floor while I showered. I thought he was playing nicely until I got out. He had unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper so that he could use the cardboard center as a megaphone. The unused tissue was thrown about the bathroom. After cleaning up we dressed and left for church. Of course we were late but so was our neighbor so we were able to walk in together. When I sit down my sister politely warned me that the air conditioner was not working. It is June in the deep south, so it was HOT! My child does not cope well with being hot so I used a paper fan to try to keep him cool (and under control). He yells, "stop it" and grabs the fan from my hand. He puts the fan to his ear and says "Hello, hello, hello" and begins to jabber a bunch of nonsense. It was pretty funny so a few people on our row started to laugh. This gesture was all he needed to really get cranked up. Between crushing crayons, trying to crank his shoe with the car key, and bumping his head fifty times it was an interesting and exhausting evening. The best part was that I dressed him in a pair of khaki overalls that snapped in the crotch. He was moving around so much that they would not stay together. Unsnapped the overalls strongly resembled a dress.

Covered in crayon marks, sweating profusely, banging his head, talking to a fan, and wearing a dress my son made his mark on tonight's congregation.

Bad Vacuum Cleaner, Bad!

The nerve, thinking that I could vacuum during my son’s morning cartoons. As soon as I turned it on I was met in the hall by a charging toddler (with terrible bed head) waving a metal spatula and repeatedly yelling “stop it, stop it.” Thinking that he was talking to me I was prepared to punish him when he started to violently spank the vacuum cleaner with his spatula. His behavior was so entertaining that I had to laugh. When the rage ceased he looked up at me. I immediately changed my expression from amused to angry. His response was to drop the spatula, say sorry, and run back into the living room to resume cartoon mode.

Another Memorable Sunday

Today was the beginning of our revival at church. After our regular Sunday morning service we had "dinner on the grounds" which preceded an afternoon service introducing our guest preacher for the week. With no fellowship hall and the belief that food should not be eaten in the church building, we fearlessly ate outside (in excruciating heat). Words cannot describe how hot it was and after eating ten types of fat-dripping dishes I was convinced that I would not survive. My son ripped and roared in the church yard until he nearly passed out. Wet with sweat he decided to cool himself by pouring water over his head (numerous times). It was a good idea and I guess I should have been proud of his inventiveness but his attire wasn't very appealing for the upcoming service. Wet child in hand and covered in sweat myself we reentered the church for our second sermon of the day. From past experience, I brought reinforcements to keep my baby busy to avoid total disruption. Today's church activity was a set of flashcards that we had been reviewing at home. Of course, at home my toddler showed no interest in them at all. In church, however, he suddenly recognized the contents and began to talk to the cards. The one thing that you do not do is SHHHH my son in church. For some reason he goes ballistic and cries uncontrollably when this happens. He became so loud with the cards that my father broke the rule and said SHHHHH. As predicted he screamed out and cried uncontrollably for what seemed like forever. Finally, he calmed down and refocused on talking to his flashcards. At this point during the service we were all singing so the talking transitioned into singing. The singing was so loud and awkward that everyone sitting on our row began to chuckle. In an attempt to regain my composure I looked at the preacher (expecting a serious expression or discontentment of some kind). He was laughing himself and doing everything within his power to keep a straight face which made me laugh harder. Finally, the child sung himself to sleep and lay sprawled out on the pew for the remaining of the service. What a relief!

Today's festivities (even with the antics) were memorable moments that regretfully will disappear with modernization. I distinctly remember gathering at the church for an outside lunch to celebrate the beginning of our summer revival. Everyone brought covered dishes and we always ate outside on the same rickety tables we used toady. The kids, including myself, occupied their time by running and rolling down a nearby hill. Watching my son do these same things will always hold a special place in my heart and mind (even though I was better behaved).

Dirt! One of life's simple (and frequently forgotton) pleasures.

Cleanliness is next to godliness but sometimes you just have to get dirty. Dirt is definitely an amazing phenomenon. It's free, readily available, and provides hours of toddler entertainment with little to no worries (other than a mouth full here and there). The best thing is that unlike paint, markers, and ink...it is easily washed away with water.

Each summer we generally have a garden. The luxury of fresh vegetables is unsurpassed and the enjoyment of merely walking the rows and surveying the continuously growing crop is immeasurable. Yesterday, we did just that. My husband, my father, and my little tag-a-long put on our overalls and headed to the family garden for a leisurely stroll through the squash and peas. During our visit, my child had more fun than he has ever had with any store bought toy. He smashed dirt clods, slung a few squash, and tried his hand at hoeing a row or two. When we left every inch of his body was brown with dirt (except his teeth and the whites of his eyes). With a big smile we headed home to prebathe under the waterhose, which added to the ombeance of the previous dirt play. Within a few minutes my toddler was clean, in bed, and dreaming of endless fields of dirt clods.

The moral of this story is to never underestimate the power and simplicity of dirt. Nothing I do with my toddler is easy. Whether it's shopping or going out to eat virtually every activity becomes a chore. A day in the dirt, however, is about as painless as it gets and requires literally no preperation. Just keep an eye out for ants!

Country Goes to Town!

Growing up on a farm, my son picks up on various habits and actions that are typically functional only ON THE FARM! "Calling the cows" is one of those actions. Each day, my toddler and his Papaw check the cows. They go from field to field counting and calling the cows to make sure each one is healthy and accounted for. To do this, my father cups his hand around his mouth and loudly calls out "WHOOOOO, WHOOOOO, SUCK COW." This is repeated continuously until the cows show up. My son mimics this call by pursing his lips, pointing, and making an UUUUUUUUU noise. Last night we went shopping and out to eat. While in a local hobby store, my toddler spotted a bin full of toy cows. Immediately, he started "calling the cows" and lining them up on the shelf. We thought it was cute and so did a few others in the store. My son loves to be the center of attention so he called louder and more frequent in an effort to be noticed a little more. We laughed, played with the animals for a short while, bought what we needed, and left the store. Later we decided to grab a bite to eat. It was late and my toddler was jacked up on root beer so he made every attempt to get every one's attention, particularly the two little girls sitting at the table behind us. Remembering his successful attention-getter in the hobby store he started to call the cows. Of course we thought it was cute and began to encourage continuation of this behavior by laughing and repeating "call the cows, baby, call the cows....and....are you calling the cows?" The laughter and our diligent encouragement got the attention of three ladies sitting behind us. They were slightly on the larger side and took immediate offense to my son's behavior. It wasn't until they stormed out that we realized they were offended by my son's behavior and thought we were making fun of them. No harm was intended just another example of what happens when "country comes to town."

The Mysterious Paper Jam!

To amuse myself and my toddler, I decided to modify some of my digital photos into coloring sheets. He was so excited to see himself on the coloring pages that I created and couldn't wait to get his hands on one. Being my little helper, he stood beside me anxiously awaiting the finished, printed product. Both of us overwhelmed with anticipation was terribly disappointed when the red light flashed...PAPER JAM! My son looked at me (with both hands on his head) and in his most distressful voice exclaimed "OHHHH, NOOOOO! I immediately began to investigate. We both were totally confused when I couldn't find the cause of the persistent paper jam.
I tried to reprint, nothing.
I turned the printer off and on again, nothing.
I opened the lid, nothing.
Finally, I stuck my hand into the area where the paper is fed and there I found the strangest thing..........a red crayon. (I guess this crayon was a leftover from the crayola fiasco). I peered at my son, held up the crayon, and asked "Where did this come from?" He shrugged his shoulders and said "Maaaaa, I don't know." I couldn't help but laugh even though my next twenty copies were marked with a predominate red streak.

Are you telling on me?

After doing a little housework, I discovered crayons smashed or should I say hammered into just about everything in the living room. (Evidently, he was using the crayons as nails for whatever he was building). Immediately after seeing this disaster, I sternly corrected my son with hammer in hand. Suddenly he grabs the phone, points at me, gives me a scolding glare, and starts jabbering (telling on me) to whomever he thinks is on the other end, which was probably his Papaw. Later that day, the incident completely slipped my mind until Papaw came over for a visit. My son jumps into his Papaw's lap and starts ranting with an out-stretched finger pointing directly at me.

A diaper changed my son's life

The other day I saw the "Huggies Little Movers Jeans" commercial for the first time. Well, I done what every "good" mom would do. I rushed out and bought a pack for my precious child. Photography is a hobby of mine so we immediately had a photo shoot of my baby in his new duds. He pranced around like a celebrity, which made for some great photos. It wasn't until the next day that I was faced with the very unpleasant results. We were watching TV when it happened...my son stretched out on the couch, put on his daddy's shades, and violently crammed his foot in my face. Realizing that he wanted a foot message, I quickly obliged. There he lay, all stretched out and getting a foot message. My son had become a Diva!

My Most Touching Tale

My little mover has literally been at my father’s (his papaw) side since birth. When my father was diagnosed with cancer this did not change. Through surgery and several months of radiation therapy, my little boy was there with him every step of the way. Each day for several months, my son accompanied his papaw to the cancer center where he received daily radiation therapy. Eventually, the visits became toddler therapy. My father with grandson in hand became the life of the waiting room. They made many friends and became the encouragement that so many needed to make it through that next treatment (including my father). The journey was difficult but they traveled it together and together they remain.

Introduction

Tales of a Toddler was inspired by daily humor brought forth by my soon to be two-year-old son. Growing up on a farm and sharing my genetics has created a boisterous little boy that never meets a stranger. Each day brings forth a new antic or incident that simply has to be told. So buckle up, hang on, and enjoy the ride!