My son has been constipated 90% of his life. However, a department store is a very functional laxative. Every shopping trip brings on a very productive poop. Today while shopping, as predicted, my son decided to do #2. It was a very dramatic bowel movement that affected all those present. First, he squatted down by the nearest clothes rack. Then, he grunted like a mad-man and turned red as a beet. (I thought he might actually pass out.) All of this was combined with a gurgling, bubbling, splattering sound and a smell that could peel paint. My shopping was almost done so we were able to check out and vacate the building before anyone actually became ill.
He definitely left his mark on our fellow shoppers and probably singed their nose hairs in the process.
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